“The Fitness of a wine connoisseur”

It turns out we could probably all eat our friend's finger

I developed the fitness of a wine connoisseur; all the different layers of musk, versus earthy, versus what most of the world uses one word for – gamey. Once you gain that fitness, your hedonic spectrum widens.

What is this “hedonic spectrum” of which Dr Jack (Giancarlo) Allocca speaks? Jack, a research fellow at the University of Melbourne, explains…

Once I removed the layer of squeamishness, it didn’t matter whether it was a rat or a raccoon – they were all so interesting

What Jack is talking about is a set of tests to challenge his disgust response. His research question - if we want to be academic - is to find out how much our idea of “disgusting” is culturally imposed. And if it is, can it be changed?

So far he has eaten around one hundred different species, including monkey, vulture, cat, dog, Asian black bear, grizzly bear, caribou, fox, flying fox, wombat, koala, peacock, lion, tiger, whale and zebra... and long pig. That’s what you think it is. He teamed up with a friend who agreed to cut off part of his finger so that Jack could eat it. Although they later fell out because the friend didn’t like Jack talking about the incident jokily at barbecues.

I was fascinated by Alloca’s use of a “wine connoisseur” as the ne plus ultra of gustatory refinement. But also the sense that he acquired the “fitness” of a wine connoisseur. Thinking of wine tasting as a thing requiring great training and effort. If you’re someone who enjoys the complexities of wine, it’s worth thinking that Alloca considers your wine connoisseurship to be as challenging as learning to eat insects, dogs, tigers, or your friend’s finger.

Amateurs vs Professionals

You might imagine that this would be the point where I would come up with some tedious and entirely predictable argument about how wine professionals need to have trained palates but “civilians” (per Liz Hurley¹) and everyday drinkers need not.

Far from it.

While reading about Jack Alloca² last Christmas I was instead reminded of a piece on this Substack about The Reverend William and son Frank Buckland. Their eating habits in 19th Century England put Alloca to shame:

The Rev William would serve porpoise at dinner, while son Frank once famously revived one with a bottle of brandy. Guests at one dinner were uncertain what meat they were eating until an infant hippopotamus entered the room with a prosthesis where its recently amputated leg had been. The Rev. William said the most disgusting things he ever ate were the mole and the bluebottle, describing the fly as tasting “just as you’d imagine it would taste”. He also correctly identified bat and panther urine by licking it. William’s gastronomy reached its height (or nadir, delete to taste) when he was shown the mummified heart of King Louis XIV, whereupon he promptly ate a piece.

Frank Buckland used to take his pet bear Tig (whom he didn’t eat) to wine tastings at his Oxford college, dressed in an academic gown and mortarboard cap. Although quite how it behaved is unclear, as it once had to be calmed down from a fury at dinner by the nursing pioneer Florence Nightingale.

For wine fans, the story comes bang up to date, as the bear’s name “Tig” was also the name The Duchess of Sussex gave her blog and former lifestyle brand when she was Meghan Markle - named after her favourite wine, Tignanello. Although who knows, maybe it’s best to check what’s in the sandwiches at Montecito?

This week’s wine recommendations

Three reds this week - although with a familial resemblance. And they’re useful and versatile food matching wines, for caribou (which we’ve tried), mole, tiger, bluebottle, wombat, or human (which we haven’t)