Wine's forgotten heroes: Gladys Bronwyn Stern

In some ways she was the first "vinfluencer". Some might even say she remains the best. A sadly forgotten writer, who wrote one of wine's most entertaining travelogues.

She then startled us by asking if we carried re­volvers; and when we replied in the negative, retorted: “Well, you’ll need them!” Johnny remarked that he had thought it was not legal to carry arms in France; and she gave us the curious piece of information that, provided the revolver is used inside the car, it is legal, but if outside, then it is against the law. We foresaw that there might be moments when it would be difficult to coax would-be robbers and murderers to enter the Fiat, before shooting them; but, fortunately for our peace of mind, we quickly forgot her sinister warning, and never felt our lack of fire-arms very acutely.

This is a not entirely atypical passage from “Bouquet” by Gladys Bronwyn Stern, published in 1927.

It is one of the funniest, most fascinating, and endearing books ever written on wine. It’s also almost impossible to find - with second hand copies selling for hundreds of dollars. A specially-produced short run edition published a few years ago seems to sell for over $70. Although there are cheaper ones… if you can find them.

It’s the account of a road trip around France’s wine regions that Stern took with her husband Johnny, and friends Rosemary and Humphrey in 1926. It’s been described as a “romp”. And… well, that’s what it is. An event-filled tour from the Rhône valley, to Provence, through the countryside to Bergerac and down to Bordeaux, up to the Loire, and across to Burgundy. All before a final hop back to the Rhône.

Stern in 1925 - the year before she drove around France

Stern - a prolific writer in her time - is of the “show, don’t tell” school of writers. So we learn about her friends through morsels like:

Humphrey speaks French hardly at all, because he says that he has a wooden leg, and that it is bad for his complaint to be made to talk a language with which God has not originally endowed him.

Astonishingly, Humphrey - of the wooden leg - is given much of the driving to do. In a tiny Fiat they call “Flotsam” which breaks down with alarming regularity. Humphrey’s generosity in doing much of the driving is not passed over lightly though. “Humphrey should be hung round and festooned with cuspidors for the whole of the tour, and particularly at Cognac.” I had to look up “cuspidor”.